Interpersonal skills: Can they be improved?
By Lionel Desjardins

The success of all workers is directly related to the ability to effectively use and balance both technical and interpersonal skills. The latter are sometimes referred to as soft or people skills. In, The Five patterns of Extraordinary Careers, Citrin and Smith demonstrate how people with extraordinary careers don’t claw their way to the top, they are carried there and much of what is required to be carried to the top can be attributed to the effective use of these interpersonal skills. Unfortunately, there is a belief in the workplace that technical skills can be taught whereas interpersonal skills are inherent to certain personalities and cannot be acquired.

A senior manager of a London Ontario food production company has been quoted as saying about new hires in his company: “I am tempted to start hiring candidates for their interpersonal skills and to then simply teach them the technical skills that they may need.” This individual has, through his experience, come to the conclusion that interpersonal skills although they are of prime importance cannot easily be taught. Given such beliefs what do we recommend to those who feel that they may be lacking in soft skills? Is there any hope for them?

In dealing with hundreds of workers on improving their employability profiles, I have seen growth in their interpersonal skills but not without specific and arduous practice and hard work .This work is based on the principle that people skills are what people with people skills do. In short we suggest the study of the relevant behavior of those with interpersonal skills and the emulation of their actions.

In seeking to investigate general sociability, let us observe the behavior of one Mr/Mrs Personality who enters an office or any workplace and automatically connects with superiors and fellow workers. He/she demonstrates an interest in them by asking about the names of their spouses, girlfriends, partners, children; by inquiring about their interests, their favorite sports, how they take their coffee or their tea and, most importantly, they remember each and every detail to adorn any and all future conversations.

For those who do not do this naturally, it is essential that they treat the positive and  personable interaction with colleagues and clients  as a research project followed by a test of their memory .These individuals can record all the useful personal  details such as those mastered above by Mr/Mrs Personality in a data base. They should regularly review the material to refresh their knowledge before key social interaction opportunities where they will use the information to demonstrate their caring for others .The use of such a technique will turn the worst anti social hermit into someone who is perceived as “good with people” and therefore possessing people skills. Of course, the essential follow-up must include the maintenance of the caring for others while successfully carrying out their assigned functions in the company or organization.
      
When searching for a functional description of job related interpersonal skills in order to assist our clients, we came upon the work of a human resource consulting firm known as Performance DNA International .They have generated a very interesting list   of descriptors that can be used as a starting point for those who wish to assess and improve their interpersonal skills .For example those wanting to assess their level of empathy should ask themselves the following questions.

1. Do I demonstrate genuine concern for others?
2. Do I respect and value people?
3. Do I perceive and am I sensitive to the emotions that people experience?
4. Do I expend considerable effort to understand the real needs, concerns and feelings of others?
5. Do I advocate for the interests, needs and wants of others?
6. Do I demonstrate cross cultural sensitivity and understanding?
7. Do I take personal and/or professional risks for the sake of others?

At this point in the discussion we must clarify what one does with these questions in order to foster specific growth in the area of empathy. The first thing would be to make an introspective self assessment. This should be followed by a discussion of these questions with a group of co- workers at all levels, not just peers, who are familiar with an individual’s performance from all perspectives. Such a group, if empowered to do so, should provide useful input allowing an individual to improve this specific interpersonal skill. Question 6) dealing with cross cultural sensitivity and understanding may require some outside expertise, especially if this sensitivity is mainly required when dealing with  foreign suppliers, foreign  clients or international colleagues. Considering that shortcomings in this area could cause companies to lose multimillion dollar contracts, especially in the burgeoning Chinese market, I would strongly suggest that you enlist the expertise of cross-cultural trainers such as those that can be contacted through www.chinainmotion.com .

The message, in our estimation, is that interpersonal skills can be acquired and productively used in the workplace by individuals who are prepared to train systematically. They can also be nurtured especially by companies and organizations that understand and value these skills and are prepared to create an open atmosphere of encouragement with strong shared values. It is no coincidence that this is also an apt description of many of the most successful companies in the global economy.